Cabin in the Woods ☕ d. Drew Goddard, 2011

Should I have to tell you that there are gratuitous spoilers throughout this post?  Hopefully not.  One of the structural conceits of Cabin in the Woods is the fact that it explicitly telegraphs virtually every major plot complication in advance.  The idea that modern horror narratives are an extension of the ancient ritual of human sacrifice?  Right there in the opening credits.  The idea that the high priests of culture are now bureaucratic drones who have used the corporate-industrial complex to attempt to micromanage our every desire?  Right there after the opening credits.  Lovecraftian gods as the Old Ones who must be appeased by said sacrifice?  Implied in almost every scene featuring the staff of the mystery organization right up to the final “revelation.”  Every horror movie you’ve ever seen has essentially “spoiled” Cabin in the Woods for you already, and that’s part of the point.  You have willingly subjected yourself to a ritual whose details and variations are already familiar to you — and yet you are rewarded by the experience, else you would not voluntarily endure the same thing over and over and over.  There’s a good reason for why you do, and this film explains it to you in the most deliciously literal-yet-metaphorical terms.