Now, I understand that most one-star Amazon reviews are not actually reviews. They’re rants. Someone reads a bad book and they’re angry. They’re hurting and they want to lash out. They want the world to share their pain, and so they unleash a couple paragraphs of mouth-foaming invective and consider it a public service. I get it.
However, as a writer, I’d like to know why someone hates my work — not colorful, over-the-top descriptions of how much they hate it.
The above quote is courtesy of the sagacious Dan Swensen at Surly Muse. Included in the post is a hilarious rundown of common “criticisms” that are actually barely-disguised exercises of bilious intellectual ineptitude. I’ve been guilty of the things he lambastes, but he’s right on the money with all of it. And even though he’s specifically talking books, we now have a virtual checklist of what not to do when writing reviews of pretty much anything. Huzzah!
And don’t apologize for that Stigmata review, Dan. Perhaps you recall my oh-so-well-modulated tirades about Secretary. We all have our regrets. Mine is that I didn’t have the excuse of being drunk.
During the movie. (Inyaface!)